


Broken Passion

by Ruunkur



Category: Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Does mention major character death, F/F, Mentions of unpleasant experiences, Well - Freeform, it's not a happy fic, mentions of abuse, mentions of drinking, the beginning isn't a happy beginning anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15415590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruunkur/pseuds/Ruunkur
Summary: It's been years since you've last seen any of them, years since you've let yourself drown and be beaten. You're tired and on the edge. You understand what you have to do, even if you don't wish to do it.





	Broken Passion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yurImperial](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurImperial/gifts).



> Written as a thank you for my wonderful beta reader, YurImperial!
> 
> This, much to my amusement, is not actually beta'd~~ But spelling errors have been checked for. Enjoy!
> 
> Nothing is graphic, but I'm never sure how to mark things rating wise, so better safe than sorry on this one.

Your fingers are nervous as you dial the number that's still so familiar to you, even after all these years. You're sitting in a dingy hotel room, your hair hanging in uneven lengths over your face. You hurt, the after images of the night prior burned into your eyelids.

It had been too long since you had last seen the person you were calling, the cell phone hanging halfway between your shoulder and ear as you hear the distant sound of someone moving in the room over. You don't remember how you got where you were at, only that it was the darkness that had sent you there.

It's a moment before you press call, the harsh tone of the phone ringing making you flinch. You reach up, running a hand through your hair. For the first time in months, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, the haunted look that reflected in your eyes. You quickly drop them, breath hitching as you heard the voice on the other line pick up.

"Miyako speaking,"

It's several seconds before you jump at the next sound.

"If no one's there, I'm hanging up." The voice was annoyed and you swallow, feeling ice creep up your spine.

"Please, don't." The words are harsh as you whisper them, the only sound that you had emitted since several months ago. You had fallen, hard, when you had found out what had happened. You hadn't been you, not for the past few years, but this, this was a familiarity you could cling to.

"...Who is this?"

You force yourself to stand, moving away from the mirror because you can't bare to stand looking at the bruises that litter your body.

"Miyako, I..." You hesitate, heart skipping a beat as you hear Miyako let out a sigh.

"Hikari?"

Your name felt like a rope that would either help or hang you. You reach out, afraid to burn, despite all of the burning that you had been doing. You nod, realizing she wouldn't be able to see you. "Yeah,"

"Where are you?"

There's a hint of annoyance, over coated with worry in the question and you stumble over to the desk, finding the piece of paper with the address on the hotel. You recite it, feeling mechanical. Your head is swimming, the lingering taste of alcohol on your lips. You lick them, waiting for Miyako to respond.

"Are you by yourself?"

You hesitate, glancing around the room. "I think so?"

There's a pause and you hear a flurry of commotion over the phone, a muffled, "I'm headed out!" thrown to whoever else Miyako might be with. It's several long minutes of silence as you gather yourself, finding clothing that belong to you and putting it on. It was in better repair several months ago, but now you didn't care what you looked like, as long as it hid the bruising.

"Hikari?"

The voice startled you, and you glance at your phone, having forgotten that it was there.

"Can you talk to me?"

You frown, watching sight of your face in the mirror before you duck away, sitting with your back to the wall, the bed in front of you. "What about?"

There's another pause, Miyako letting out a sigh. "What happened to you?"

You shake your head. "I don't know,"

It was the truth. After everything that had happened, you had fallen harder than anyone would have thought possible. You let the darkness take you, let it consume you. You disappeared, three years ago. You had been laughter and light, now you feel like lead and death.

"We're worried about you,"

You close your eyes, pressing a hand to your head. "I'm...broken."

"Hikari,"

The name was like a sigh and you felt your heart speed up. It felt longer than three years since you had last seen Miyako or any of the others. It felt like years since you had last remembered what it felt like to talk to someone, rather than pass through life as a silent figure.

"Hikari, you are not broken."

You shake your head and let out a low sigh. "It's useless,"

"I'm at the hotel, what's the room number?"

You stand and walk towards the door, looking once more around the room to see if there was anything you needed before deciding that there wasn't. You had your phone, broken as it was, and you believe that was all you had when you entered the room. You step outside, the bright light making you squint and you see Miyako, one arm crossed over her chest, the other holding the phone.

"Hikari?"

"I'll come down,"

You end the phone call, feeling the sharp breeze of autumn against your face. It's several seconds more and you see her grow frantic, glancing from her phone to the hotel. You hurry down the stairs, brushing hair out of your face and feeling your heart crumble when you saw how well she looked.

You didn't have any right to drag her down into the mess that you were going to.

"Hikari?"

She approaches you with slow, measured steps, reaching out a hand as if it might scare you away. You offer her a smile, feeling it crack as she pulled you into a tight hug, her arms wrapping around you and holding you close, as if she would never let you go.

"Hi," the word is muffled into her chest, the warmth of her making you feel better. You hide your face, feeling the tears that wouldn't come for years seep into her sweater. She doesn't release you until you stop crying, herding you towards her car and into it. She turns on the heater, pulling away from the place and taking you away from it.

"You're welcome to stay with me," Miyako breaks the silence first and you glance at her. "I'm sure Ken won't mind, actually, if he does mind, he's welcome to go find somewhere else to stay. Well, he's out currently for the week anyway, doing something or another for his job... Should be back tomorrow? Anyway..." Miyako chatters on to fill the silence and you simply nod and listen, unable to take in the information she was providing you.

You reach the apartment nearly ten minutes later, Miyako bundling you up in a spare sweater and all but herding you up the stairs. When you enter the apartment, you relax when you see how normal it is. You're several steps in before you remember to take off your shoes, Miyako watching you all the while.

"Would you like something to eat?"

You frown but nod, Miyako walking past you.

"Why don't you take a shower and change into some clean clothes? Use whatever in the closet, I don't mind. I'll have lunch ready by the time you're done."

You nod, walking into the room Miyako directed you to, gathering some clothes you thought you would fit in, before heading to the other room that Miyako had pointed out. You step into the bathroom, keeping the light off as you stripped. It was a few minutes before you stepped in and under the water, the water doing far more to warm you up than the clothes had.

You run your hands through your tangled hair, the memories of the night prior coming unbidden to your mind. The man that you had been with drinking his way into anger. You had also been drunk, let him do whatever he wanted. It didn't matter to you, it wouldn't have mattered to you. You see the rope burns on your wrists, wondering when you had started to fight against his affections. The yelling he had done had only caused you to go numb while you cleaned up the blood from cuts he had left behind. He had left and, it makes you sick to think it, you wonder if he would come back. If he would try to find you.

The man had been what you considered a shadow in your life for the past two and a half years. You were on his arm, he was...respectful in his own areas of work. The first few months had been okay, then the violence started and-

"Hikari?"

You turn off the water when you hear your name, drying yourself off and changing into the clean clothes, though they seemed to hang off of you. You place your own clothes in the dirty hamper, opening the door and meeting Miyako's gaze.

"Yes?"

"Lunch is ready... Would you like help with your hair?" She asks and you offer a half-hearted shrug as she leads you to the dining room, a bowl of warm soup set out for you. You accepted it, gaze sliding over the apartment. It's quiet, the first time Miyako has really been quiet while she brushes through your hair. You keep your gaze on the soup, the woman's fingers gentle as she set the brush aside. Your hair is uneven, cut off in chunks that wouldn't make sense to anyone.

"What happened to you?" Miyako breathed the question and you look up at her, shaking your head, unwilling to answer. You let the silence settle, finishing the soup and accepting the invitation to get rest. You curl up on the couch, eyes already close when you hear Miyako talking again, though you can't keep hold of the words as you drift to sleep.

***

You wake when the smell of food is drifting towards you, Miyako letting out a small laugh. you push the blankets that had been laid on you off, getting over and creeping to the kitchen, seeing that Miyako was on the phone, rather than someone else was in the house.

"Morning!" She chirped, pulling the phone away and smiling at you. "Dinner's almost ready, if you're interested."

You nod and watch her return to her conversation. It's over shortly after that, Miyako setting the reheated soup from earlier on the table. You claim a bowl, filling it up and eating. It was slow forcing yourself to eat. You glance up when you see Miyako's gaze trained on you.

"Will you talk to me?"

You frown, brushing strands of your hair away. Your hair felt clean, for the first time in a while. You swallow your mouthful of soup, resting a hand on the table. "I'm sorry,"

"For what?" Miyako frowned, leaning forward and touching your cheek. You tip your head to the side, leaning into the touch and sighing.

"Disappearing, brother's death, a lot of things." Drinking, sex, gambling, losing yourself to whatever darkness would be willing to consume you and everything you once stood for. You can still feel the rope on your wrists, holding you to the bed.

"That is not your fault!" MIyako's voice is harsh and you flinch under it, dropping your gaze to the bowl of soup. "Oh HIkari, that was not your fault." She's standing, pulling you into a hug and you hide your face in her chest. It hurts to breathe, hurts to make you realize that she cared like this.

You swallow the pain, the reaching guilt at seeing your friends in that accident because they had been looking for you. You see their blood splattered across the pavement and you cry into Miyako's chest, the girl holding you ever tighter as you sob. The images were only kept at bay by the drinking, that much you knew. You drank to keep them back, to hide them in the deepest part of you. You want to run away from the warmth that was surrounding you, from the love that threatened to strangle you.

"Hikari, Hikari," Miyako breathed into your hair, her hands tightening into the clothing you had borrowed. You felt as if you would snap under the attention before she draws back, meeting your gaze. "Please tell me you'll stay."

You are unable to meet her gaze, feeling the uncertainty creep through you. You want to tell her no, to return to the hotel and wait for him. But you know it's pointless to go back. He'd probably just kill you, you had seen him to it before. So you find yourself nodding, feeling Miyako hug you again.

It felt like you were young again, Miyako comforting you when the digital world had disappeared. The kiss that you two had shared after that had been awkward but full of good intentions and, even now, you feel yourself pull her down, kissing her between your tears. You feel her tense as you cling to her shirt, the woman letting out a low sigh as she breaks the kiss.

"I love you," you whisper, hiding your face and saying the words that you had been unafraid to say so many years ago. The words that you had wanted to scream when you saw your brother bleeding in the streets. You hide your face, crying harder and Miyako never moves, holding to you like she's willing to be your rock.

***

It takes ages for you to get yourself together. Miyako walks by you every step of the way, Ken not surprised by the events when she ends their relationship to help you. You feel guilty, at that one, but a small part of you is delighted in the fact that Miyako was willing to do it.

The two of you stay up late, talking about anything and everything that comes to you. And, slowly, you start placing yourself at Chosen Meetings, though they feel empty without Taichi and the digimon. For the first couple, you hide behind Miyako, using her as a barrier to handle the stress of seeing everyone.

It does not surprise you that Miyako offers you a place in her room, when the nightmares start becoming a regular occurrence. You want to apologize, to make excuses, to tell her no, but you breathe in her essence as she sleeps and you are unable to. You find yourself falling for her all over again, wondering if you were only there to break up a relationship that she had seemed happy in.

Now, as you curl up next to her, listening to her breath, but unable to sleep, you wonder if you should leave. You feel her arms around, feel the rightness of it, and you don't want to. But, the thought lingers and you can't get it out of your mind. Slowly, you reach a hand up, touching her face and tracing one of the scars that she had received in the digital world from flying shrapnel while fighting. You rest your hand on her chin, watch her sleep and you feel yourself grow heavy.

Sometimes, you wonder what had happened if you had only been stronger. It had been a fight between you and Miyako, after all, that had driven Taichi to be out in the rain that had caused his death. You close your eyes, burying your face in her chest and just listen to her, tucking your arm back close between the two of you.

It's quiet in the house, even more so since Ken had finished moving out, wished the two of you the best. Miyako had went back to work on her own company, leaving you sitting and watching as she worked from home more and more. You feel like a rock, keeping her down, and you having to sigh to yourself at that, feeling useless.

Miyako stirring causes you to close your eyes, evening out your breathing to pretend that you were asleep. You feel her move, her arms adjusting around you. You're still so skinny, something that she had been trying to fix so you would be healthy. You had lost weight, which was bad for you, that was something you knew. But not something you cared about in a long time.

"Hikari," Miyako breathed and you feel your heart skip a beat. "I'm so glad you're back, I've been worried about you for so long."

You hesitate, feeling her grip tighten on you.

"When you disappeared, I thought it was because of me." There's a forlorn note in her voice and you close your eyes tighter, pressing closer to her, tangled as you were even now in sleep. Miyako shifts and you feel her chin on your head as she hummed. "I love you, and I don't want the darkness to consume you. Please, stay with me?"

You realize that she had known you were awake when the question is posed to you. You move, opening your eyes and meeting her gaze, considering the options before you nod in agreement, Miyako hugging you tighter.

"I'll stay,"

You still don't talk much, and the words scrap your throat like knives digging into your skin. You register the kiss seconds after it happened, Miyako holding you all the tighter.

Laying like this, in the dark and with her, you knew that you would be okay. You had to be okay, if only for the beautiful woman that lay next to you and was willing to care.

You could defeat the dark, even if you didn't become the light they knew before. You would be okay, as long as she was by your side once more.


End file.
